A Struggle

If you don't mind reading my vulnerable heart as I share with you a recent struggle and conviction that the Lord had helped me through.

One issue about the culture here, and other Latin American countries that I have had to work through (and continually have to work through) is the quite frequent cat calls, whistles, kissing noises,and crude comments made at me. The men here do that to many women, and it is done all the more with my white face walking around. Each time I have to plead to the Lord to keep my sharp tongue still in my mouth or restain my hands from making ugly gestures at them to convey my discust. It never comes across to me as a complement, instead I always feel degraded when these men, who are usually really dirty, scummy looking men that make these foul comments or sounds. It is as common as a bird's song, or a car's horn here.

Yet..........
How many times have I looked at a man, thought he was attractive, and said something about him to a friend, or thought of him and to myself made my own cat calls of sorts? How many times have I found a man attractive on the big screen and made comments? How many times have I physically or emotionally lusted after, desired, or thought of a man, or men in ways that I shouldn't?

The humbling truth: I am just like those men on the bench-- dirty, scummy, and full of junk. I am no better than them. I am no cleaner than them. Foulness comes out of my mouth too, because sin is in my heart. I am just as dirty as them. Even if I don't speak of what I think of the opposite sex, my thoughts can still be sinful.

Christ didn't come to save the righteous, but the sinners.